Mouse Piece

awesomeness;)

2009-02-24T12:21:00.000-08:00

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2007/jun/16/artnews.art

Listening

2009-02-23T00:07:00.001-08:00

listening reveals a delicate, softer, malleable, yet solid, dazzling, and stronger being who is fully capable of discerning giving and creating love. It is beautiful.

The Sun Never Says

2009-01-14T23:14:00.001-08:00

Even
After
All this time
The sun never says to the earth,

"You owe
Me."

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the
Whole
Sky.

~Hafiz

In remembrance of...

2009-01-14T22:55:00.000-08:00

I held my breath. Love is often heavier than we're comfortable with so we choose not to go deeper, farther. Fear, laziness, and comfortability seem light enough for us to carry.

This life is too short not to love each other deeply. It is we who so easily let go of things so beautiful and powerful, not by choice, but by not wanting to make a choice. we so often forget that love is what we've always known best, just like the rhythm of our heart and so many rhythms around us that make up this life.

Rilke

2009-01-10T21:35:00.002-08:00

The Panther

His vision, from the constantly passing bars,
has grown so weary that it cannot hold
anything else. It seems to him there are
a thousand bars, and behind the bars, no world.

As he paces in cramped circles, over and over,
the movement of his powerful soft strides
is like a ritual dance around a center
in which a mighty will stands paralyzed.

Only at times, the curtain of the pupils
lifts, quietly. An image enters in,
rushes down through the tense, arrested muscles,
plunges into the heart and is gone.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke

a year

2008-11-24T11:18:00.000-08:00

I feel like a good year is coming made of changes I have been afraid to consider or procrastinated in making. Life is raw, soft, scabby, and absolutely marvelous. Amazing how much we can learn in a lifetime.

Team Work

2008-11-16T23:32:00.000-08:00

What does team work mean to you?

I realized recently that the term "team work" only becomes relevant and important when the other members of the team's input and work is USEFUL to your own productivity, effectiveness, accomplishments and goals, or else there's not much need or desire to complain about the lack of "team work".

Oh, the selfish gene!

I was elated about a colleague of mine who got elected as a parks board representative today I didn't give a shit that she hasn't been doing her job at all lately because of the campaign. Mostly, it is because her department doesn't affect mine much. I felt extremely happy for her and bathed myself in her positive energy and excitement. But I wonder what I would feel like if my daily work is co-dependent on hers.

change

2008-11-08T11:15:00.000-08:00

I have always been somewhat of a wanderlust, believing firmly that we are meant to see as much of this world as we possibly can in our lifetime, and at different phases and stages of life so that we can comprehend how subjective change really is. And perhaps more honestly, it is because I crave new understanding of myself and perceive that I can reinvent myself more easily and freely when I am transient. This perception is not true in reality of course.

I am intrigued to find out what makes me afraid to reinvent myself now.

what I need

2008-06-28T20:49:00.000-07:00

is a solid, grounded, conscious stride towards a direction that is lit and clear. I desperately hope it is what I have now.

anger

2007-01-19T09:52:00.000-08:00

Is there a medium for this? how much can a person sympathize when empathy is actually what's needed? And somehow I become a familiar stranger on the other side of the wire.

New Year, Happy

2007-01-01T17:34:00.000-08:00

Feels like another day of the week, in the most wonderful way. I finished my cover letter for Volunteer Vancouver, going to have to edit the formatting of my resume a bit more, but in general, well on my way. I realized that I do have a lot to offer, I guess it's that same old habit of not trusting myself that's getting in the way.

Thank you for always putting me at ease. It's calming to listen to the sound of you, breathing.

Random

2006-12-27T16:12:00.000-08:00

I like how I un-defined myself to be anything I am; I like asking what a word means without feeling stupid; I like how I am calmer and lighter, how I actually listen to your advice, how I am less of my stubborn self with you. Life becomes simpler, and I laugh so much more.

me

2006-12-14T21:40:00.000-08:00

There's a heaviness that's weighing me down - perhaps I have too much that I expect myself to be able to do, too much that I expect others to expect me to do. Third time a charm - I am utterly frustrated and angry about my condition, but at the same time, it almost feels like this is the only time that I can allow myself not to do anything. I would feel guilty relaxing otherwise. And even now, her voice is there, both in the tangible and intangible form, telling me that I am too weak to do what I am suppose to, that she doesn't believe I can get sick this many times with my "limited" work load. I am so tired, I just want to be left alone, I can't stop crying. I want to punch something. I am in pieces, and I need to pick myself up. Tomorrow. Soon. There's a deadline. I am competing with her - and I can never quite catch up to her. And I am tired. And I am scared. And I am angry. And I wish I had lots of money. And I am tired.

Thing to do

2006-11-13T11:57:00.000-08:00

Strategic/Business planning
Dreamweaver/Photoshop/excel
Event Planning/marketing/fundraising
Puppet making
Bookkeeping
Storytelling (VSS monthly meetings)
Painting

How to survive a non-profit job

2006-11-01T12:27:00.000-08:00

#1. Read "verbal self-defense"
#2. Avoid checking e-mail when you are NOT working - since there'll be 10 waiting for you on your day off
#3. Do things slowly, or else they will overload you because they think you are a superwoman
#4. Try not to have a car - don't think this one will compensate for gas
#5. Have imaginary friends
#6. Stay healthy - because you are not going to get any sympathy if you fall sick

Silly things to do when you don't know what to do with yourself!!! YAY

2006-10-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

Imagine everyone singing "Mary had a little lamb" - what they would look like if they want to make it silly

Sing the silliest version of "Mary had a little lamb" you possibly can

Try to see everything in their curved form - they flow like water, extend, stretch, and bend

Make the best fish face you can

Play chess - it will make your brain hurt!

Go to a vintage store - and break your bank

Write with your left hand

Draw and Paint - with acrylic preferably, and edit forever! I mean forever!

Scavenge for things in the house to SELL - on craigslist preferably!

OR

Write an entry like I just did! Argh, I miss my doodle!

Cold plagued

2006-09-20T23:33:00.000-07:00

But happy, even in the rain! There's something to say about being mindless but at the same time, mindful. Silence is beautiful, so is going back to the pure simplicity of life. I am not sure how to explain it, it feels like I am riding on a wave of ripples, each carrying me to the next, vibrating, expanding. It's good, that's all I know:)

Bliss.

And finished the Pre and post program activity writeups today too!

Mehhhhhhhhh, signing out.

Eww, cold:(

2006-09-18T10:26:00.000-07:00

I got a cold! Grossly sick - Cold-fx is trying hard to work its magic, be it placebo or otherwise. The burlesque show was a-ok, some good skits, but audience pretty much was in a coma all throughout, yikes, maybe they need one of those pacemakers with electrodes attached to somewhere in their frontal lobe? Anyhow, KAW has been crazy, or maybe I am just too much of a workaholic. Really like spending time with doodle, syncing it in;) His dubbing for Droo is hilirous - I think he has a career in puppetry some day, in all honesty!;) I'm reminding myself to be Here with myself - do what I can, enjoy all that are with me. Sometimes, it's easy to forget - especially when fear is involved.

Here's the mouse piece for today:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be so?

-Marianne Williamson in Return to Love

2006-09-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

Argh, so cold today. But got lots done - and I am finally gonna have a phone that won't scew up on me (hopefully). Totally get the importance of "organization" now, gives me a clear head! Hope the coke-spilling, traffic congesting, credit card losing days will be NO MORE!

Was on the bus yesterday, coming back from doodle's, and suddenly thought of the Chinese phrase for "going to work". In Mandarin, it is "Shang Ban" - which in literal translation means "climb class". Interesting thought, I figure.

Here's my mouse piece for today:

Change is what happens when the pain of holding on
becomes greater than the fear of letting go...

Freedom of choice is what you got,
Freedom from choice is what you want.

Aren't we all trying to come to terms with this all our lives - that nugget!